If you’re thinking, “My boyfriend dumped me. Now what do I do?” you’re not alone. Millions of people have been in the same position you are right now. Things do get better, whether you get back together with your boyfriend or not. But if you’re despairing, “My boyfriend dumped me!” then you need to have a good cry and then get yourself together.

You probably want to win back ex. While there are no guarantees that you’ll be able to get back together, there are some things you can do that will help. The first thing is to realize that people get dumped every day for a number of different reasons. And the one you think caused your breakup might not be the real reason.

You have stop assuming and stop telling people, “My boyfriend dumped me because of—“, fill in the blank, if you’re not exactly sure that’s why he dumped you. How do you know for sure why you were dumped? You have to ask, if you really want to know.

Be sure and only ask if you think you can take the truth, though. If asking could cause him to tell you something that you’ve suspected but have been in denial about, for instance, will it cause you more pain to find out than to not know? Maybe you should just let the past stay there, and work on the future, in that case.

But if you need to know—and you might if you really want to work things out—then you’ll have to ask. Try not arguing with the answer you get when you ask. Just accept that “my boyfriend dumped me because of ‘this,’” and move on.

The next step is to simply ask if he thinks there’s a chance. If the reason he broke up with you is something you believe you can fix, then you should make that clear to him. Let him know you’re willing to work on these things because you believe that you have something special and you want to make it work

It might really be hard to do these things. Being dumped hurts. But if you want to get back together and make your relationship work, then there has to be honest communication going on between you. And the worst thing that can happen is that things aren’t going to work out.

If that’s the case and there’s no chance of you getting back together despite any efforts you might put forth, then at least you made the effort and probably learned something about yourself.

Examine the reasons he broke up with you and you might decide that it’s not really a bad thing. Even if you know you’re better off, it feels crummy to get dumped. Be nice to yourself and treat yourself to a facial or a pedicure.

And try to remember that “My boyfriend dumped me!” is something that many others have had to deal with, and they made things work out, so you can too.

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